Writing Prompt: Let’s Get Physical, Physical…

It’s a Monday—which means it’s my Sunday—so I figure I’ll ease into the week with a writing prompt from the fine folks over at Plinky.com.

What does your fitness routine consist of?

My physical routine is generally quite boring and uneventful.

During the spring/summer/fall months I generally do nothing but play softball.

Last summer/fall, I was playing softball anywhere from two to four times a week. This had a pretty good impact on my endurance and overall physical well-being.

You might not think much of slow-pitch softball—and let’s be honest, you probably shouldn’t—but if you’re playing enough and you’re anything like me (read: hypercompetitive and a centerfielder) you’re likely to spend A LOT of time running.

I can honestly say that by the time my softball seasons finally wrapped up in mid-to-late October, I was in some of the best shape I’ve been in since high school.

Remember, high school? Remember when you had Phys. Ed. like three days a week and you couldn’t be a fatty unless you really worked at it (or had a glandular problem)?

Yeah…those were the days.

In high school, I looked like an anorexic 11-year-old cheerleader, but danged if I wasn’t in some solid shape. As I got older, I spent less and less time playing sports and found myself falling into considerably worse shape.

That’s why I decided that I needed to pay outlandish amounts of money for a gym membership. This was a HUGE waste of money when I lived in Southie, but now that I live a few blocks from the gym, it’s not so bad.

In fact, this is how I spend my winters attempting to stay “in shape.”

Basically, what I do is meander into the gym 3-4 times a week and sorta stare at all the equipment.

I move some things around until the bang and clank and I assume that means I’m working out. I run on the indoor track until my knees feel like they’re going to explode and then I go sit in a sauna and read the sports section of the paper for half an hour.

That’s pretty much the extent of what I’ve got for a physical fitness routine: softball in the spring/summer/fall and ill-fated attempts at gym-rattedness in the winter.

If you’ve got a better game-plan, lemme hear it in the comments…

Join the PTQ Team Today!!

I’ve noticed a serious lack in output here at PTQ lately.

Technically, this is a good thing since the original intent of this entire blog was to get me and the two lovely ladies I write with back into the mix as regular bloggers at our own bitchin’ sites (links along the right hand column, y’all).

Things have been slow-going, but we’re definitely on the right path back to regular postingness.

I’ve attempted to recruit more writers for PTQ and the results have not been pretty. I know of at least half a dozen bloggers who are damn good writers, but have fallen off the wagon (or are back on the wagon—I can never keep it straight) in terms of their own blogging.

I have invited all of those peeps and I’ve heavily pimped PTQ to them as well. Thus far, we’ve gained one new blogger, my brother. He’s written sporadically—granted, we’ve all written sporadically—as he is just now joining the world of writers/bloggers/journalers/ranters/etc.

I’m very proud to have him not only in the mix here at PTQ, but writing in general. I’ve long been a writing pimp and tried to get anyone and everyone on the bandwagon, because—and let’s be honest here folks—writing is effing awesome.

If you’re mad; you can write about it. If you’re happy; you can write about it. If you’re in love with a zebra; there’s a whole separate section of the internet for you, but you can sure as hell write about it—likely under a pseudonym.

I’m all about writing.

My efforts here have waned considerably from posting everyday to posting once or twice a week at best. I’m down with that. It means that my own blogs are slowly (but surely) working their way back into shape.

I’m still busy out of my mind at work and in my personal life, but I really—REALLY—want nothing more in my life than to write. I think I’ve got a knack for it and I’m fairly personable in the sense that my writing often sounds exactly like the way I speak.

As such, it’s not too hard to picture yourself drinking a beer and listening to me ramble on, yet all the while I’m sitting across the world pounding on some keys and—well—drinking a beer.

Anyway, this has gotten really long-winded ( likely because I’m actually drinking whiskey and not beer tonight ) but the long and short of it is that we need some new writers here at PTQ to keep this enterprise going.

If you—or someone you know—wants to write more or needs an outlet, let me know, this is the place for you.

PTQ is meant to get writers writing.

Let me know if you need that push.

Photo Evidence: Al Davis is a Zombie

I know, right?!

I probably should have prefaced this post with some sort of warning about hiding the children and keeping an empty trashcan nearby, you know, just in case. Unfortunately, I did not and now you’ve all been privy to my photographic evidence that Al Davis, owner/dictator of the Oakland Raiders, is–unquestionably–a freakin’ zombie!!

Seriously, take another long, hard look at all-o-that.

Do you wanna try and refute my statement?

I didn’t think so.

I’m sorry I didn’t have any sort of “real” post in me today, but when I stumbled upon this photo, I just figured the world should be made aware that the dead do, in fact, walk among us.

Lock your doors and draw the shades, y’all…because Al Davis could be peepin’ in your windows right now.

Sleep tight.

Writing Prompt: Bad for Business

It’s been a few days since I posted here at PTQ and that figures to be the norm whilst I work on fazing myself out of the regular writing crew here.

I did, however, figure that I should post a little something and thus I’ve gone with a writing prompt from the fine folks at Plinky.com.

Have you ever thought about starting your own business?

I thought for a brief period of time that I could somehow start my own website and offer fantasy baseball consulting.

Logic eventually set in and I remembered that there are roughly 30,000 websites out there that offer fantasy baseball advice, tips, tricks and strategies for absolutely no cost whatsoever.

Needless to say, it wasn’t going to be the bountiful business venture I’d once dreamed. It turns out that people have absolutely zero incentive to pay some random dude with questionable facial hair for baseball advice when they can get the same basic advice—or at least just advice—for free elsewhere.

It’s the old “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” thing and let’s be honest, it makes perfect sense. I mean seriously, I’m a pretty competitive fantasy baseballerizer and I’d never pay some schmuck for fantasy baseball advice because I know that I know more than 90% of the peeps out there.

I assume any fantasy baseballer worth their salt feels the same way. That having been said, to think it’s worth not only asking for but paying for someone else’s advice is straight up poppycock.

So yeah, my fantasy baseball consulting business hasn’t really gotten off the ground floor and doesn’t really figure to anytime in the near future.

I guess I’ll have to go back to my other game plan of releasing a line of zombie apocalypse preparation-themed workout DVDs.

I’m Baaaaaaaaaaaaaack…

Somebody sound the alarm, Gravey is back and ready for action.

After taking a much needed break over the holidays to recharge my batteries and center my chi and various other break-related clichés, I’m back.

My hope is that I can officially move on from PTQ within the next month or so if/when I get my regularly-scheduled blogging back in gear. I’m feeling a great urge to write lately, so hopefully it’ll all work out.

I’ve been working on some of my super geeky creative writing lately and trying to come up with a consistent stream of blog stories as well. It’s hard because—as anyone who has read my crap on a frequent basis knows—I’ve been so busy and overwhelmed at work lately and that doesn’t figure to change any time soon.

My good friend, Travis said something to me over break that really stuck with me.

“If something is important to you and you really want to do it, you make the time.”

Travis was right. I’ve been saying “I’m too busy” as my default excuse for letting lots of things slide in the past year or so. I felt sorta off-kilter through most of 2010 and I think that was a big part of it, I was busy. I was very, very busy and I let a lot of the things I really enjoy slip to the wayside as a result.

My writing suffered. My fantasy baseball suffered. My overall ambition suffered. Lots of things suffered, except for the amount f time and effort I put into my job.

In 2011, I’m going to try and make a more concerted effort to do the things I really want to do and stop brushing them aside.

I love to write. Few things make me nearly as happy as finishing a well-written story or blog entry or essay or short-story or whatever and I am going to aim to get that feeling a little more frequently this year.

I figure January 10th was a good day to jump back in as I’ve been back in Boston for almost a week now and been back to work and the holidays are clearly in the rearview mirror. It’s time I brush off the 2010 dust and prepare to dive headlong into 2011.

Here’s hoping I can get my shit together.

Oh yeah, and Happy New Year, y’all.

Better late than never, right?!

A New Year

I haven’t forgotten about PTQ, I swear! The holidays distracted me, and then I went on a furloughcation for a while and didn’t want to be connected to the interwebs at all (other than checking Tottenham’s scores and table rankings). So… yeah. I’m going to try to be better from now own.

That said, I’m going to plead my way out of writing a real post today because I just posted one at my other blog, and I don’t think my brain can handle two substantial posts in one day at this point. Besides, I have Pillars of the Earth to go lose myself in. So here are links to my last two posts at A Fool Notion:

DGobs’s 2010 in Review

DGobs Revisits Goals Set in 2010

Not Dead Yet

I’m not dead.

My lack of posts may indicate otherwise, but I promise, I’m alive and well. Things have been incredibly busy in the past week or so as I’ve struggled to finish up a bajillion things at work and home before vacation/furlough.

Traveling always kicks writing/creativity/etc. in the balls and that appears to be the case again. I’m worn out, dealing with limited internet connectivity and availability, trying to get all my Christmas shopping done and just feeling pulled in all directions.

As such, I’m officially taking a short-term “leave of absence” from PTQ for the reminder of my vacation/furlough. It is just too hard to write consistently here at home and I hate feeling guilty about not writing.

I’ll be back–gun’s a blazin’–in the New Year, but for now, I’ll only be posting if/when time permits.

See y’all in 2011…

Writing Prompt: The Most Evil Thing I’d Do… bwa ha ha!

Because I’m still unable to come up with ideas for posts on my own, this time I’ll borrow a page from Lindsey’s book and answer the Plinky prompt: If there were no consequences, what is the most evil thing you’d do?

What’s the most evil thing I’d do if there were no consequences? Easy. I’d burn down Emirates Stadium.

The Emirates, for the uninitiated among you, is the new football (soccer) stadium in which the scum play. The scum being Arsenal, aka “The Arse.” As I am a Spurs fan, I hate the scum and their fans, called “Gooners.” Gooners also hate me (or, they would if they knew I’m a supporter of the Yids), as well as my beloved lads in white and blue.

Basically, as the old song goes: If I had the wings of a sparrow, and if I had the arse of a crow, I’d fly over Arsenal tomorrow and sh*t on the bastards below. (Fun fact: I usually substitute the words “poo” and “wankers” in the last line, since somehow I’m usually singing that song in front of my Mum and don’t want to offend).

Anyway, that’s what I’d do. I’d wait until a time when no one was in the stadium, because I’m not so evil that I want to murder people, and I’d burn that sucka down. Then I’d spit on the ashes. And you know what? I’d also burn down whatever parts of Highbury, the scum’s old ground, is left standing. Just because.

Hell, while I’m at it, I’d burn down Yankee Stadium as well. Because I’m a good New Englander.

But before I do all that, first I’d sneak into my upstairs neighbor’s apartment and steal all her shoes. I would then throw these shoes into one of the massive bonfires I start. I’d also tamper with their pipes so that Stompy and Mr. Stompy would no longer be able to hog all the hot water in the house. But I would not steal any of her packages from the mail because that is unneighborly behavior and I will not stoop to her level. I will not!!

But mostly, I’d burn down the Emirates. And it would be awesome.

25 Songs from the iPod of DGobs

…because apparently I can’t come up with my own topics for blog posts lately. Anyhoo, here’s what pops up when my iPod is on shuffle:

1. “Wrong ’em Boyo” by The Clash
2. “Please Just Take These Photos From My Hands” by Snow Patrol
3. “The Girl Next Door” by Moe’s Haven
4. “Evacuate” by The Boxer Rebellion
5. “Brain Damage” by Pink Floyd
6. “Bank Robber/Robber Dub” by The Clash
7. “The Storm” by Seth Lakeman
8. “Blue Jay Way” from Across the Universe
9. “The Rainbow Connection” by Kermit the Frog
10. “You’re All I Have” by Snow Patrol

Aaaaand I just realized that I posted this “25 songs” thing with only 10 songs. Way to go!! Here are the missing 15:

11. “Taxi Driver” by Gym Class Heroes
12. “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2
13. “Superman” by Stereophonics
14. “You Could Be Happy” by Snow Patrol
15. “The Prisoner” by The Clash
16. “Sea of Heartbreak” by Johnny Cash
17. “Yellow” by Coldplay
18. “Girls Should Drive Automatics” by Elijah Wyman
19. “Reason for Living” by Westlife (this is the song that destroys any musical cred I had built up in this list)
20. “Keep the Car Running” by The Arcade Fire
21. “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by The Rolling Stones
22. “Low” by Flo Rida
23. “Jingle Bells” by James Taylor
24. “What I Go to School For” by Busted
25. “The Boxer” by Simon and Garfunkel

Twenty-Five Songs

I’m lazy and tired, so you get an internet meme, haha!

Instructions: Put your iPod, iTunes, or whatever you use to listen to music, set it on shuffle, then write down the first 25 songs that come on.

01. “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift
02. “Letter to Me” by Brad Paisley
03. “Marry You” by Glee Cast
04. “Waking Up in Vegas” by Katy Perry
05. “Rooftops” by Lostprophets
06. “I Still Miss You” by Keith Anderson
07. “Don’t Let Me Get Me” by Pink
08. “Taylor Swift” by Tyler Dean
09. “Hands Clean” by Alanis Morissette
10. “Small Town Saturday Night” by Hal Ketchum
11. “Treading Water” by Slant of Light
12. “Sorry” by Our Lady Peace
13. “Goodbye” by Audio Adrenaline
14. “Dog Days are Over” by Florence + the Machine
15. “Jenny” by Cross Canadian Ragweed
16. “Let Me Be Myself” by 3 Doors Down
17. “Small Town USA” by Justin Moore
18. “Fearless” by Taylor Swift
19. “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey
20. “Goodnight Girl” by the Nadas
21. “Move Along” by All-American Rejects
22. “Hello World” by Belle Perez
23. “Still Learning How to Fly” by Rodney Crowell
24. “Speak Now” by Taylor Swift
25. “Forget You” by Glee Cast and Gwyneth Paltrow

Writing Prompt: E-Reader vs. Me-Reader

I’m in the midst of another late-night shift. So much like yesterday, I’ll largely be phoning it in again today. Granted, I’ve at least meandered over to Plinky to snag a writing prompt tonight.

You’re welcome…

Would you ever get an e-book reader?

I honestly can’t say that there’s no way I’d ever get an e-book reader. There are plenty of perks to having all your books stored in one tiny device. The most obvious being; space. Bookshelves take up a ton of space and books are a bitch-and-a-half to box up and move when relocating.

Granted, packed bookshelves are awesome and an immediate conversation piece. No one points at your Kindle and asks you if you majored in English Lit…if they do, they’ve likely been stalking you and are using this opportunity to get you to open up to them before they jam a scalpel in your throat…I may be getting off-track here.

I think the idea of an e-book reader is way cooler than the reality of one. It’s awesome to think that I could be anywhere with my reader and just pick a book and BAM there it is.

There is, however, this glorious feeling of flipping the pages of a real book and watching your bookmark’s steady progress from beginning to end as you plow through an awesome book.

I really enjoy the tangible feeling of closing the back cover when I’ve finished a book, it’s like busting through a finish line. I can’t imagine I can get that with an e-book reader, short of spiking it like a football.

I like giving books to friends to borrow and I like borrowing books from friends, as far as I can tell, that’s not quite as feasible with an e-book reader.

So although I can’t say that I’d never get an e-book reader, there definitely isn’t a chance of me adding one to my arsenal of fine technology (read: crockpot, first generation Playstation 2 and Zack Morris-esque cell phone) anytime in the near future.

Plus, with the hardcore marketing push of books, you can’t go wrong. These things practically sell themselves!

I’ll See You That “Phoning It In…”

…and raise you a “not even a half-ass attempt at a blog post.”

I’m still thawing out after standing on an empty commuter rail platform in central Massachusetts for what was probably 10-15 minutes but felt like an hour, in the freezing cold and windiness, waiting for a train that never came. MBTA FTW!

Major props to my Mum and Jack for driving me home.

I’m now off to drink a hot beverage and cuddle under several blankets. Cheers.

Phoning It In…

I wanted to write something good today, but it’s just not gonna happen. In fact, there is a very good chance this entire week is a bust. You see I’m in the midst of a stretch where I’m working 13 straight days (note: it’s not as bad as it sounds on paper). I’m also in the midst of a roughly 50 hour work week right before I hop on a jet-plane and return to the motherland, that sweet, sweet frozen tundra that is the Midwest.

I’m working overnights this week and trying to get a metric shit-ton of stuff done before I take off for “vacation.” I’m working on taking care of loose ends and trying to set things up so I won’t be in total catch-up mode when I get back. That’s why it’s after 3am and I’m still sitting in my cubicle pounding out this “post” in an attempt to meet today’s yesterday’s writing quota.

That having been said, I’ve got nothing to give to y’all and I should probably get the hell outta here if I’m hoping to be up and outta bed by 6am tomorrow today so I can hit the gym and start the process all over again.

Feel free to be jealous.

With that in mind, I’m giving you a sample from one of my new favorite web comics, Cyanide & Happiness.

Don’t worry, you can thank me later.

Mini-Rants for the Week

My brain is too scattered today to write anything cohesive, so here is a list of rants that have been bouncing around in my head. Feel free to call 9-waah-waah when you finish reading.

-If you’re going to wear those hideously stupid Ugg boots, dear God, at least lift your stupid feet up while you walk so the whole world doesn’t have to hear you clomping down the sidewalk/hall/T platform/etc.

-How hard is it to look where you’re going and to be aware of your surroundings?! Please don’t stop in your tracks in the middle of a crowded sidewalk to change songs on your iPod or to read that text you just got. Please don’t walk three-abreast down a narrow sidewalk and refuse to move when someone is trying to walk the other way. Please don’t step directly into my path and then glare at me for getting in your way when I’ve been on the same trajectory for the entire length of the street.

-Why, yuppie/hipster hybrid man, did you feel the need to cut in front of everyone at the bus stop yesterday – everyone, literally, even the adorable old lady who had been there way longer than you – to get on the bus first, where you then stood in the middle of everyone’s way, refused to move, and stole the first open seat available… robbing it from the same adorable old lady? Did you not learn how to wait your turn in kindergarten? Did you mom not teach you manners? Why can’t people queue properly?!?!

-Dear Stompy, my upstairs neighbor: Is it not enough that you stomp around from approximately 7 am to midnight every day? Do you also have to steal my packages? And hog all the hot water every single morning? And leave your trash strewn all over our section of the driveway? When I’m in charge of the world, I’m sending you back to New York faster than you can clomp across the length of the house (read: fast).

-Dear Japanese tourists: Stop taking my picture. I’m not an MIT student. I do not work in a zoo (though it kind of feels like it with this big ol’ window next to me that’s at eye-level to everyone outside). I will start flipping you off if you try to photograph me again. You’ve been warned.

-Dear 90% of the cyclists in eastern Massachusetts: You know you’re technically using a vehicle, right? Please learn the rules of the road or I will have to start kicking your back wheels. I’ll do it. I swear. Next cyclist that almost runs me down when I’m in a crosswalk and you’re going the wrong way down a one-way street, your spokes will have my footprint in them. For realz.

-Dear Sloanies: GET OUT OF MY DREAMS!!!

That is all.

Writing Prompt: What a Dude Wants

Okay, let’s be honest I chose today’s writing prompt because it appears quick and easy and I chose the title because it is inspired by a wonderful song from my adolescence.

With that in mind, here’s today’s prompt from the fine folks at Plinky.com.

List three things you want to accomplish before 2011…

Get My Shit Together

I’ve been very—um—off-kilter for the better part of the last year. I don’t know what happened, but when I turned 26, my brain seemingly shut down. I’ve yet to figure out what the hell caused it, but since I turned 26 last year, I’ve been in this weird “funk” that I can’t shake.

I went from being someone who blogged daily or better to being a dude who has to resort to writing prompts to come up with anything to write about. I used to get totally stoked about fantasy baseball and last year I totally phoned it in. I generally am a great organizer and planner for things with my friends and we’re two weeks out from the annual extravaganza known as Christmas Bowl and I’ve yet to send out an invite or even an email reminder.

I used to talk to my friends at minimum once every week or so via the phone and I’d email ‘em a whole bunch on email or Facebook. Now I’m so lazy or apathetic or whatever the hell I am that I feel like texting or Facebook pokes constitute some kind of accomplishment.

I want to figure out what the hell is wrong with me and I’m hoping that a couple of weeks back home to just chill out (or as much as anyone can “chill out” whilst on an unpaid furlough) will be enough to help me get my shit together and start the new year on the right foot.

Fill My Belly

Anyone who has read my bullshit on a frequent basis is well-aware that when I get obsessed with food (ie: McRib, Potato Oles, Cheeseburgers, etc…) I get really obsessed with ‘em.

On my trip home, I’m fully-anticipating devouring my share (and then some) of Taco John’s, Jimmy John’s, Dairy Dandy, Mazatlan, Buffalo Wild Wings, Blue Bricks and any of a number of other establishments.

I’ll also be going to town (do with that what you will) on some breakfast pizza every chance I get.

Win the Christmas Bowl MVP

As I mentioned earlier, every year my friends and I get together the day after Christmas to play a bitchin’ game of flag football.

The game takes place on December 26th every year, weather be damned!

We’ve played in a bunch of conditions in our day. We’ve played with no snow, we’ve played with multiple feet of snow, we’ve played in slush, in mud, on rock-hard frozen ground and in icy, crappy conditions. The weather has also been a mixed bag over the years. We’ve had temperatures well below zero and we’ve had some gorgeous days in the 40s.

It’s a good ole time.

Last year was the first year we’ve had to cancel the game. Although, technically we didn’t cancel it, it’s just that no one could really make it to play the game.

Iowa was hit with some seriously hardcore weather and I spent the majority of my Christmas break snowed in at my parents’ place. We’d hoped it’d clear up enough by the 26th to play, but it didn’t.

I was snowed in on the farm and couldn’t get into town to play. Everyone else (or those who were in town) decided to pass as well, it was a shame. We’d never missed a game and after last year things aren’t looking too bright for this year.

One of our most consistent players is going to take a Mexican vacation, rather than brave the wilds of an Iowa winter and—because I’ve been so lazy about spreading the word—I have no idea how many people we will or won’t have this year.

There’s a very real chance that with everyone doing that whole “growing up” thing with families and babies and whatnot that this could be the last year for Christmas Bowl.

As such, I’m making it my goal to win the annual MVP award that is voted on and handed out at game’s end.

It’s my year. I can feel it.